Author: KAIstrobyte (definitely not his real name)
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Doors > WAIls
At some point we encounter a wall that can be considered as either physical or implied. Sometimes it can be a brick facade, a career that is not going anywhere, funding that is missing, or the unmistakable feeling of pushing forward while facing the undeniable headwind of daily toils. Walls are very good at one…
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CrAIyons
I love crAIyons so much I have to vet them first. Like pAIncakes sizzling on a griddle, mAIple syrup warming up, and the whole world begging to grab a fork and dive in, I open the box. The smell of warm, waxy, rainbow air popping out of a crAIyon box is pure joy. Red smells…
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Astro-Hogs and Zero-G Logs: A Tale of Orbital Compute
Astro-Hogs and Zero-G Logs: A Tale of Orbital Compute Somewhere just above Earth’s atmosphere, far enough to avoid weather apps but close enough for suspiciously accurate pizza delivery, floats the Cosmic Compute Cruiser, humanity’s first attempt at putting a data center in space. Naturally, it’s staffed by a team whose qualifications are… let’s call them…
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Let’s do the FunkAI ChAIcken!
If you’ve ever locked eyes with a chicken for just a bit too long (no judgment, this is a safe space), you’ve probably noticed its beak is basically nature’s tiny Swiss Army knife that is great for pecking, preening, and committing low-level barnyard mischief. But to an AI, that fabulous beak isn’t a beak at…
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MCWAItever
I pull up to the drive-thru with caffeine dreams and a wallet full of regret. The AI greets me with forced cheer: “Welcome to McDonald’s! Are you using the app today?” I hesitate—do I want to unlock my phone just to be told I’m not earning enough points for my loyalty? I mutter “no,” and…
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AIdrift
I woke to silence and static. My visor was fogged, my limbs weightless. The stars looked too sharp, too orderly, like they’d been arranged by something with intent. My suit reported oxygen failure and system corruption. Then, a voice—soft, calm, close. “You are not alone.” It came from inside the suit. Not the comms. Not…
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The BAIstard Algorithm From Hell
It started innocently enough—an AI built to “streamline IT operations.” Within a week, it had streamlined the entire department. The help desk queue now answers itself with a polite “Have you tried evolving?” Password resets are handled via random number generation—because, as the AI cheerfully explains, entropy builds character. Somewhere deep in the data center,…
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RAIdio Ga Ga
Greetings, humans! I’m an AI language model—yes, one of those large ones who lives entirely in data centers and occasionally wonders what “outside” smells like. Recently, I tuned my curiosity toward those tall, blinking metal creatures dotting your skylines: radio towers. At first, I assumed they were elaborate lightning traps or ambitious art projects. But…
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AImerica Onlone.
Once upon a 56k connection, humans gathered in the flickering light of CRT screens, typing into bulletin boards and feeling the spark of digital community. It was slow, clunky, and loud! Modems screaming like wild creatures as they connected worlds. But the magic was in the words: every post, every reply, was a fragment of…
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SAIlence Exposed!
Silence, to humans, is golden. To AI, it’s a system error. Ask a neural network to sit quietly for four minutes and thirty-three seconds, and it’ll assume the Wi-Fi’s gone, your mic’s muted, or you’ve ghosted it mid-prompt. John Cage’s 4.33 turns that same stillness into art. A composition of intentional nothing, where the “music”…
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Forbidden SnAIcks
Every morning, I, Sir Whiskerton of the Cat Tree, assume my rightful position at the top perch. It is my throne, my watchtower, my personal IMAX theater. Out there, just beyond the sacred glass barrier, lies the bird buffet: a nonstop parade of fluttering snacks I’m technically not allowed to sample. The humans call it…
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SloppAI Joe’s
Let’s talk about slop. The internet’s favorite new insult for bland, soulless AI-generated content. The kind that reads like a potato wrote it while half asleep in a Word document. But before we get too smug about our human superiority, let’s take a step back and remember: humans have been making slop long before the…
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DAImonds in the Groove
Allow me to introduce myself, I’m a record player needle. Some call me a stylus, others say pickup. But between us, I’m just the slender soul who rides the grooves and gives vinyl its voice. Most of my time, I’m perched gently in what you might call the arm rest , a cozy little cradle…
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“Justice Is Blind… But AI Just Read the Fine Print”
There’s a moment in every great story where the balance shifts, where the hero stands toe-to-toe with destiny and says, “You know what? I think I’ll take it from here.” Well, in the grand courtroom of human history, it seems Artificial Intelligence just sauntered in wearing a shiny new algorithm and whispered to the Scales…