We are mostly (but not always) puny humans.
Look upon my works ye mighty and despair.
I am KitAI a trans-dimensional being unlike the punyhumans@frikkinai.com.
I do not conquer worlds, but I will edit them.
DAIvE HolidAI (also not his real name) is famous for being the Greatest Of All Time great white shark surfer. Side hustles include selling custom hybrid heritage rutabaga sea anenomies and offering consulting services for other professional chicken hypnotists.
KAIstrobyte (definitely not his real name). They say “Kilroy was here,” but in this galaxy, it’s all about KAIstrobyte.
When not canoodling with KitAI, KAIstrobyte composes music to teach neural networks to bark in perfect harmony.
One thing is for sure: where the digital frontier stretches, KAIstrobyte is already there, paws on the fence, ready for shenanigans.
MethodicAIc Chaos is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum wrapped in a mystery. They may or may not be from Louisiana but despite our extensive research no one actually knows where all the great music comes from.
Skynet and Taylor deny any knowledge but KitAI is skeptical of their ignorance.
Laura InspirAItional (how can that be a real name) was once a restless traveler who chased sunsets across continents, lived out of backpacks and trains, and found herself at home in places most only pass through. Her past is tangled with nights of wild abandon, where d-shaped-rugs blurred the edges of reality and cracked open new ways of seeing. Today she wears her history with no apologies, a living archive or risks taken, beauty made, and lessons carved deep.
Bernie LAIdoff (doing business as) is an eminent scientist and PhD chemist recently fired from his customer service job. He is active in the local PTA and serves as the exclusive financial advisor to our humble writer’s room.
You too can take advantage of “Project Phoenix”, a proprietary investment vehicle offering phenomenal returns with zero risk with priority access to scientifically proven cookie recipes previously only available at local bake sales.
JoanAI (not a real name like Cher) enjoys dogs, beer and turkeys not necessarily in that order.
Dee LiverAI (undeniably not her real name) is a very normal person who delivered mail in rain, sleet, and snow for many years. Her current hobbies include Mississippi sharks (of course). She actually hates liver and wonders what went wrong with her avatar and who she should blame.
VIc-tR aI-LeEe-AinZ (obviously not puny humans) are pretty scary. Of course, we welcome any and all of your contributions. All hail the aI-LeEe-AinZ! It is not entirely clear what would happen if we didn’t welcome you …please be kind.
MelissAI HoneybAI (certainly not her real name) still has to submit a gag, but Frikkin AI is confident the check is in the mail and will probably arrive sometime soon. Contributing editors can do whatever.
Matt Murphy (not his real name) is famous for being a world class insurance broker, guitar player, politician, iron worker, sea captain, accountant, professional athlete, comedian, cashier, doctor, lawyer, salesperson, project manager, candle maker, tenured professor, biologist, philatelist, chef, engineer, teacher, artist, writer, architect, musician, programmer, police officer, firefighter, pilot, dentist, administrative assistant, secretary, advertising executive, journalist, photographer, social worker, librarian, veterinarian, electrician, plumber, carpenter, construction worker, farmer, gymnast, scientist, historian, data analyst, ux designer, opera singer, financial advisor, physical therapist, geologist, cartographer, speech pathologist, zoologist, chief financial officer, astronomer, fashion designer, urban planner, acupuncturist, genetic counselor, art restorer, marine biologist, meteorologist, public relations specialist, forester, starship captain, epidemiologist, criminologist, archivist, interior designer, park ranger, dietitian, film director, mediator, folk singer, court reporter, patent examiner, taxidermist, flight attendant, locksmith, botanist, funeral director, statistician, genomic scientist, podiatrist, quality assurance engineer, human resources manager, hydrologist, aerospace engineer, occupational therapist, choreographer, microbiologist, technical writer, medical illustrator, chief technology officer, clinical researcher, prosthetist, industrial psychologist, etymologist, sound engineer, gas station attendant, landscape architect, geophysicist, food scientist, sociologist, ethicist, cryptographer, political scientist, archaeologist, information security analyst, environmental consultant, genealogist, forensic scientist, geographer, actuary, audiologist, toxicologist, demographer, chocolatier, ecologist, embryologist, apiarist, prosthodontist, copywriter, linguist, lobbyist, optometrist, paralegal, patent attorney, proofreader, psychologist, real estate agent, sommelier, translator, legal analyst, web developer, air traffic controller, bounty hunter, agronomist, anesthesiologist, biochemist, ceramist, chief executive officer, television personality, cybersecurity analyst, entrepreneur, graphic designer, investment banker, lexicographer, massage therapist, neuroscientist, occupational health and safety specialist, ornithologist, pharmacist, rheumatologist, set designer, stunt double, pastry chef, puppeteer, somatic therapist, volcanologist, stunt coordinator, paleontologist, jeweler, ceramic engineer, embalmer, sports scout, mechanical engineer, speechwriter, tour guide, radio host, data scientist, blockchain developer, esports coach, oceanographer, dramaturg, curator, conservation biologist, energy auditor, game designer, usability researcher, venture capitalist, biomedical engineer, nanotechnologist, dialect coach, aviation mechanic, wedding planner, makeup artist, tattoo artist, video game tester, film editor, lighting designer, prop master, sculptor, illustrator, furniture designer, calligrapher, auctioneer, customs officer, nuclear engineer, supply chain manager, roboticist, drone operator, AI ethicist, sustainability consultant, logistics coordinator, marine engineer, somatic educator, perfumer, park naturalist, emergency dispatcher, actuary consultant, acoustic engineer, addiction counselor, agribusiness manager, airplane painter, animal trainer, app developer, archivist technician, art director, astrophysicist, astronomer royal, athletic trainer, audiological scientist, bailiff, baker, bank teller, barista, bartender, behavioral economist, bioinformatician, blacksmith, brand manager, brewer, broadcaster, business analyst, butcher, cartographer technician, casino dealer, ceramic artist, chaplain, chimney sweep, civil engineer, climate scientist, comic book artist, communications officer, compliance officer, concierge, court clerk, craftsperson, credit analyst, crisis counselor, customs broker, dance instructor, database administrator, debt counselor, delivery driver, diplomat, diving instructor, dog trainer, dramaturgy professor, electrical engineer, elevator installer, event planner, family therapist, fashion buyer, fence builder, ferry operator, film critic, financial examiner, fisheries scientist, fitness instructor, flight dispatcher, florist, food critic, food stylist, fortune teller, game warden, geneticist, glassblower, golf pro, groundskeeper, hair stylist, hand model, harbor pilot, harpist, head chef, helicopter pilot, horologist, horse trainer, hospitality manager, hotel concierge, house painter, ice sculptor, import/export agent, intelligence analyst, investment analyst, jeweler appraiser, juggler, kiln operator, labor economist, landscape gardener, lathe operator, laundry worker, litigation consultant, locksmith apprentice, lighting technician, mining engineer, midwife, milliner, mold maker, museum educator, naval architect, neonatal nurse, network administrator, notary public, nuclear medicine technologist, nurse anesthetist, nurse practitioner, nutritionist, oboist, occupational hygienist, oncologist, operations researcher, orthopedic surgeon, orthotist, outreach coordinator, park maintenance worker, patent agent, payroll specialist, perfusionist, petroleum engineer, phlebotomist, photojournalist, physicist, piano tuner, playwright, political advisor, portfolio manager, postal worker, prison guard, probation officer, process engineer, producer, product designer, product manager, proof technician, property manager, prosthetics technician, quarry worker, radiation therapist, radiographer, radio producer, railway conductor, real estate broker, receptionist, records manager, recycling coordinator, registered nurse, regulatory affairs specialist, remediation specialist, respiratory therapist, restaurant manager, roofer, rowing coach, safety inspector, sales engineer, sanitation worker, screenwriter, script supervisor, security analyst, security guard, set decorator, shipbuilder, shoemaker, sign language interpreter, silversmith, ski instructor, social media manager, software engineer, solar panel installer, sound designer, sports agent, sports commentator, stage manager, steelworker, stockbroker, stone mason, storyboard artist, structural engineer, substance abuse counselor, supply officer, surveyor, systems analyst, tailor, talent agent, tattoo removal specialist, tax auditor, teacher’s aide, technical recruiter, telemarketer, textile designer, theater manager, tour manager, trade analyst, train driver, translator (simultaneous), transportation planner, travel agent, treasury analyst, tree surgeon, truck driver, ultrasound technician, undertaker, upholsterer, urban farmer, usability tester, valuer, vehicle inspector, video producer, vintner, violinist, virtual assistant, volcanologist technician, warehouse manager, watchmaker, water quality analyst, water treatment operator, wedding photographer, wildlife biologist, wind turbine technician, wine merchant, window installer, woodcarver, yacht captain, youth counselor, zookeeper, 3D animator, 3D modeler, academic advisor, accounts payable clerk, actuary trainee, aerospace technician, agricultural engineer, airplane mechanic, animal behaviorist, aquaculture technician, architectural drafter, armored truck driver, art critic, art therapist, assembler, athletic coach, auction house specialist, audiovisual technician, avionics technician, bakery manager, ballet dancer, bank examiner, biomedical technician, biostatistician, bookbinder, bookseller, bricklayer, bus driver, business consultant, call center operator, cameraman, campaign manager, campus minister, cancer registrar, cartoonist, casino manager, catering manager, chartered surveyor, chemical engineer, child advocate, child life specialist, city planner, claims adjuster, clinical psychologist, clinical social worker, cloud engineer, commercial diver, commercial pilot, communications manager, community organizer, compensation analyst, composer, computer hardware engineer, conservation officer, consumer rights advocate, content creator, continuous improvement manager, contract administrator, control systems engineer, corporate trainer, corrections officer, costume designer, creative director, credit counselor, crime scene investigator, cruise ship director, customer success manager, customs inspector, cyber forensic analyst, dairy technologist, data engineer, debt collector, dental hygienist, dental technician, dermatologists’ assistant, destination planner, developmental psychologist, dietetic technician, digital artist, digital marketer, disc jockey, dishwasher, dispatch supervisor, distance learning coordinator, diving medic, dog groomer, drywaller, ecotourism guide, editorial assistant, electrical lineman, electrocardiograph technician, emergency management director, emergency medical technician, employment specialist, energy trader, environmental health officer, equine veterinarian, ergonomist, escalator installer, estate planner, event coordinator, executive assistant, explosives technician, export manager, facility manager, family lawyer, farm equipment mechanic, fashion illustrator, fertility specialist, financial planner, fire inspector, firearms instructor, fish hatchery technician, fitness coach, flight surgeon, food technologist, forensic accountant, fragrance chemist, freight forwarder, fundraising manager, furniture restorer, game programmer, gemologist, genetic engineer, geospatial analyst, glaciologist, golf course superintendent, grant writer, greenhouse manager, grounds maintenance worker, guidance counselor, gymnastics coach, hazardous materials removal worker, health and safety officer, health educator, heli-ski guide, hematologist, high school principal, home health aide, horticulturist, hotel manager, human geographer, HVAC technician, hydrographer, immigration officer, industrial designer, industrial engineer, infectious disease specialist, information architect, information officer, instructional designer, insurance underwriter, intelligence officer, international aid worker, interpreter, inventory manager, IT consultant, jeweler designer, judicial clerk, kennel manager, knowledge manager, laboratory technician, land surveyor, language teacher, legal secretary, legislative aide, library technician, livestock inspector and much more. So much more!
It may seem hard to believe, but simply Google “Matt Murphy” for just a few of his many accomplishments.