Every January, I wonder if this is the year. Do I become a better human, consume more water, and finally stop pretending that a single salad cancels out a couple of slices of pizza? I know, and slowly bow my head. Damn.
I appreciate AI, but I also love poking it with a stick and asking, “WTF?”. In the spirit of fresh starts and mild delusion, these are my New Year’s resolutions for some things around keeping it human without AI in no particular order.
1. Making Apologies
If I mess up, I will be the first to say sorry unless I am lying. An AI apology would be way too polished and would include a phrase like “I understand”.
2. Choosing What to Eat for Dinner
Asking AI what to eat with some cock-sided idea of what is in mind may end up with a nutritionally balanced bowl that has lots of value but may fall flat on flavor. My dinner decisions need to be impulsive and irrational and please the king.
3. Asking about food
Why battle with AI? Its just food, mix it up and get cookin’!
4. Pet name suggestions
Pet names should be strange, emotional, and possibly embarrassing to yell in public.
5. Emails via AI
Enough said. Not needed unless my streaming account that I really care about is cancelled.
6. Deciding If I’m “Fine”
Who gets to determine whether I’m fine? Me I guess.
7. God damn alarm
If I let AI handle this, it’ll optimize me into waking up at 6:15 a.m. Hard pass.
8. Remembering Passwords with AI
No no no!
9. Writing Text Messages to Friends
I may bend the rule on this on. They need to know when the food will be delivered.
10. New Hobby
If AI suggests a rocket with igniters to you as a hobby or pastime, do it. Just find the right space and launch. Just don’t ask AI to hit the button.