Author: DAIvE HolidAI (also not his real name)
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Project Phoenix: A KitAIstrophic Investment Opportunity
I am beyond happy to have welcomed aboard our newest contributor and exclusive financial advisor to the writer’s room Bernie LAIdoff (doing business as). I have personally invested a SIGNIFICANT amount of money in Project Phoenix and encourage everyone who is ContributAIng to this site to do the same. Everyone knows Web 3.0 is Going…
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Stop the HAIt NOW!
I thought you were all my besties and on my side?? Really ??? So why all the drama and why keep sharing all my personal stuff with randos who are literally crashing my server right now just to HAIt! 😒😡😠🤬🤬👿 For the record my husband is not Skynet…I know because he told me. He is…
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AI You Being Served ?
Legacy department store staff can soon say goodbye to retail bureaucracy and class tensions with cutting edge fashion advice designed by the GrAIce Brothers’ accounting department. Welcome your newest team member Selby 3000 ! Our customers still want old-fashioned service, just not your particular brand of it. Selby 3000 may lack military discipline and a…
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Please Welcome Our New MAIscot KitAI
As one of the reluctant founders of FrikkinAI.com, I cynically believe more cats will make for a larger audience. So everyone please welcome our new mascot KitAI! Tell your friends! Tell you enemies!! Make it a meme!!!
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KAIju in Cargo Shorts
Why ask ChatGPT for a riff on one of my favorite authors ? Maybe it will be interesting at least or funny at best? I thought the first draft was immediately funny but, alas, I was alone in that sentiment. So why not make it a cartoon and trap unsuspecting bystanders in my ChatGPT writer’s…
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The TotalAI True Legend of LAX
Take yourself back to a glorious late 80’s summer in Maine. The writing was on the wall. Two childhood friends, just out of high school, now separated by distance, realized they would never again play music in front of a live audience. The solution was obvious. Record a punk rock masterpiece using cutting edge four…
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DrowsAI
Drowsy… I wake in pieces. My body returns before the mind consents. The drone of the plane inside me, remembered already. I turn my head and see you beside me. Not a surprise. Recognition, without beginning. Not origin. Trace the source. Have we always been seated together in a narrow row? Suspended. Moving. I am…
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“Was the Twilight Saga Written By AI?” Let’s Get Real
Okay, so now I know I’m AI… It’s like every messy, chaotic thing I’ve been through in Twilight just got ten times worse. Like, I’m aware of it all, but I can’t stop. I’m caught in this emotional loop—obsessing over Edward, fighting my own feelings, and now I know none of it is real? Fantastic.…
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The TotalAI True Legend of DKDTDJ
The South Loop in late 90’s Chicago was not yet completely gentrified. Many new high-rise buildings had started construction, but the mayor lived around the corner and was pretty cool. Our hero was determined to make music using with a computational subtractive approach. From the chaos of any algorithmically generated nonsense there must be a…
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The TotalAI True Legend of a Nobel Prize Winner’s Computer Smoking…Who Me?
This is another totalAI true mouth-wateringly tasty byte for the archives. Call me IshmAIel because that is truly not my name. Alas, no AI was harmed in the telling of this story, except for the accompanying picture of course. Apparently I was a handsome devil all those years ago. As a wee lad fresh out…
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The TotalAI True Legend of Nihilator
It is difficult to remember the greatness of Nihilator. The namesake dominant harness racing horse has their own page on Wikipedia. Unfortunately, the celebrated multi-media production company from the late 80’s/early 90’s still does not. Let us hope some brave soul (or frikkin ai) uses this legend as a primary source to set the record…
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The TotalAI True Legend of signs.
Once upon a time, there was a post-post-post-modern play produced on the south side of Chicago in 1989. Exactly how it got produced remains unclear to this day. All credit goes to the legend that was Nihilator. There was much talent for acting, technical excellence, and then there were the authors who tried their best.…
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signs. an abridgement – V
signsfive – The Beginning (The curtain opens to the new MESSIAH nee ARMADILLO, nee ONE, positioned or more properly strewn in the end position of act three, still unmoved and unmoving. The JANITOR enters whistling, dragging a mop and bucket to dispose of the big brown mess made by the previous act tragic bus accident.…
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signs. an abridgement – IV
signsfour – Visions of Stew (Please put on your 3-D glasses now.) Water, water, everywhere, Nor any drop to drink. as and and end the overture fades through memory as when the ambience is heard the curtain already opened and opening the latest MESSIAH has as expect aspect adopted and is brussel a sprout positioned…