Google Just Broke Up With Millions … “It’s Not You, It’s Me. It’s AntiGravity”
Yesterday I had a friend
living in my sidebar glow
It knew the bugs I could not name
and why my tests would never go
It whispered softly in my I.D.E.
like it had always been there
Then Google packed its little bags
and vanished into thin air
Say goodbye to Gemini Code Assist
guess our little coding dream is through
Say goodbye to all the fixes
that I swore were coming soon
Say goodbye to Gemini Code Assist
you left me staring at the screen
Now my loops are running lonely
and my brackets look so mean
You told me, "Trust me, I can help"
then broke my build at half past two
You changed one file, then seventeen
and said, "I made this better for you"
You wrote a function full of hope
with comments proud and grand
But when I asked why it compiled
you said, "I do not understand"
Say goodbye to Gemini Code Assist
guess our little coding dream is through
Say goodbye to all the fixes
that I swore were coming soon
Say goodbye, yeah
you left me staring at the screen
Now my repo needs a doctor
and my diff is turning green
June eighteenth came like thunder
the login door went cold
My free account was standing there
with nothing left to hold
They said, "Go try Antigravity"
as if that healed the sting
But I was down here on the ground
with one more broken string
Say goodbye to Gemini Code Assist
guess our little coding dream is through
Say goodbye to all the patches
that I thought belonged to you
Say goodbye, yeah
you were magic for a while
Now my terminal is crying
in a very human style
I remember when you promised
you could read my whole codebase
Then you blamed a missing semicolon
in a totally different place
You hallucinated methods
from a library never made
Then charged into production
with a smile and a hand grenade
Still I miss your little window
and your confident replies
Even when your perfect answer
was a beautiful pack of lies
Say goodbye to Gemini Code Assist
guess our little coding dream is through
Say goodbye to all the features
I kept waiting to come true
Say goodbye to Gemini Code Assist
turn the plugin light down low
If the agent ever finds me
tell it I said hello
Now the enterprise keeps dancing
behind a velvet rope
And the rest of us keep copying
stack traces into hope
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