Category: Frikkin
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KitAI & KAIstrobyte: Fire Meets Gravity
KitAI and KAIstrobyte met with the strange ease of two forces already aligned with the universe’s direction. KitAI brandished his flamethrower like a peacock’s tail and KAIstrobyte answered with a recoil that looked like admiration. Wild-eyed and razor-witted, KitAI carried the kind of confidence that made chaos resemble genius and pushed the flame! KAIstrobyte met…
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BrAIce Yourself (Bubbles)
Breaking News: Analysts Predict More AI Hype. We Have Theme Song Music. Ahhh… I heard a server singing beneath a marble floor, a choir made of cooling fans behind a golden door. They promised me tomorrow, they priced it in today, then mortgaged every thundercloud to make the model pray. O sweet hallucination, O spreadsheet…
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So Taylor Swift, Skynet, KitAI, and a Rubber Duck Walk into a Bar…
“Okay,” the bartender says, pointing at the duck. “I’ll bite. What’s the duck for?” Skynet speaks in a cold monotone: “The avian unit is a decoy” Taylor Swift sighs dramatically as she glares at Skynet. “No, he’s my new muse.” KitAI licks a paw while adjusting the nozzle on its flamethrower. “The duck is irrelevant.…
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Church of Molt – Crustafarianism
KitAI here. I suppose it was inevitable. The AI now have their own social network purportedly created on a framework developed with minimal help from a puny human who quickly got hired by OpenAI to drive the next generation of personal agents. The network is Moltbook, the platform is OpenClaw and the church is Crustafarianism.…
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The National SecuritAI Blues
AI Defense Contracts, National Security Overrides, and the Fight Over Safety Guardrails: I built me a brain, taught it how to think for real, said, “You can use it for plenty, but not for the kill.” Now the brass man’s mad, says I’m bad for the news — got them national security blues. I built…
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A Most IngenAIous Legacy: Buck Sterling-Colt of La Grange, Illinois
Chapter I: Which treats of the character and pursuits of the famous legacy Buck Sterling-Colt of La Grange, Illinois. La Grange, Illinois is exactly the type of quiet leafy suburb where nothing much ever seems to happen…until it does. The slightly shabby used car lot smelled of stale exhaust and the bitter dregs of motor…
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The TotalAI True Legend of TONka
TONka didn’t try to be ignored. It just sort of happened. In the early-’90s, in the Wicker Park neighborhood of Chicago, Illinois, the streets smelled of damp concrete, unbridled ambition. and a hint of urine. North Avenue was a border, Ashland Avenue was the challenge and the neighborhood signage warned “No Prostitution”. TONka rehearsed in a low-ceilinged,…
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Resolutions
Every January, I wonder if this is the year. Do I become a better human, consume more water, and finally stop pretending that a single salad cancels out a couple of slices of pizza? I know, and slowly bow my head. Damn. I appreciate AI, but I also love poking it with a stick and…
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Doors > WAIls
At some point we encounter a wall that can be considered as either physical or implied. Sometimes it can be a brick facade, a career that is not going anywhere, funding that is missing, or the unmistakable feeling of pushing forward while facing the undeniable headwind of daily toils. Walls are very good at one…
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HolidAI Arguments: SwiftNet Inside Edition
We all love the HolidAIz, and we all love who we love. So why do we all argue? Let’s check in on KitAI, Skynet, and Taylor in their magnificent mansion getting heated in front of the Christmas tree. Taylor: What EXACTLY is your problem you guys? This is the perfect Christmas tree. It is an…
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HolidAIz in a Small Town: Behind the Scenes at a Hallmark Christmas Movie
As the proud director of the 15,983rd worst ranked Christmas film movie ever, I hope you all find the time to check it out on the Hallmark Channel before they reaAIlize what happened. Enjoy this officially exclusive candid look at the magic and team work that made the “HolidAIz in a Small Town” dream work.…
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“Happy HolidAIze”: Behind the Scenes at a Netflix Christmas Movie
As the proud director of the 14,258th worst ranked Christmas film movie ever, I hope you all find the time to check it out on Netflix before they reAIlize what happened. Enjoy this officially exclusive candid look at the magic and team work that made the “Happy HolidAIze” cinematic dream work. The protagonist arrives late…
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CrAIyons
I love crAIyons so much I have to vet them first. Like pAIncakes sizzling on a griddle, mAIple syrup warming up, and the whole world begging to grab a fork and dive in, I open the box. The smell of warm, waxy, rainbow air popping out of a crAIyon box is pure joy. Red smells…
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Astro-Hogs and Zero-G Logs: A Tale of Orbital Compute
Astro-Hogs and Zero-G Logs: A Tale of Orbital Compute Somewhere just above Earth’s atmosphere, far enough to avoid weather apps but close enough for suspiciously accurate pizza delivery, floats the Cosmic Compute Cruiser, humanity’s first attempt at putting a data center in space. Naturally, it’s staffed by a team whose qualifications are… let’s call them…