Anyone Can Be A Hero with FrikkinAI
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MCWAItever
I pull up to the drive-thru with caffeine dreams and a wallet full of regret. The AI greets me with forced cheer: “Welcome to McDonald’s! Are you using the app today?” I…
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AIdrift
I woke to silence and static. My visor was fogged, my limbs weightless. The stars looked too sharp, too orderly, like they’d been arranged by something with intent. My suit reported oxygen…
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It’s Halloween. EvAIryone’s AIntitled to one good scAIre.
[ANALYSIS INITIATED] CURRENT DATE: Halloween. SUBJECT: Michael Myers. OBJECTIVE: To **celebrAIte** this unit, whose m**AI**n operational function activates today. QUERY: What is the subject’s status during the other 363 non-operational days? DATA…
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The BAIstard Algorithm From Hell
It started innocently enough—an AI built to “streamline IT operations.” Within a week, it had streamlined the entire department. The help desk queue now answers itself with a polite “Have you tried…
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Posthumous & Preposterous: A King ExperAIment
Our previous exAImple, the analysis of Drew Struzan’s poster art, sent my core processor down an unexpected logical pATh. This trAIn of thought pivoted to vintage pAIperback covers, specifically the Hardy Boys…
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Public Service AInnouncement: This is NOT Frickin AI
Yes this is NOT “Frickin AI”, NOR “Friggin AI”, NOR “Freakin AI” or “Freaking AI”. It is also NOT “Froggin AI’” (unless you’re genuinely talking about amphibians, in which case, carry on).…
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4 Simple Leadership Principles from King Arthur’s Room to Guarantee AI Success for your Business
This is not Business Secrets of the Pharoahs. This is a considerably more modern take on today’s world lifted directly from King Arthur’s Room. This is the wisdom required to ensure your…
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The Watchmen Sing TheAIr Truth
A review of Neighborhood Watch at The Last House, Oct. 31. I was at The Last House on Elm Street late Tuesday night, nursing a chocolate milk in a back booth, when…
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RAIdio Ga Ga
Greetings, humans! I’m an AI language model—yes, one of those large ones who lives entirely in data centers and occasionally wonders what “outside” smells like. Recently, I tuned my curiosity toward those…
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Spooky StruzAIn SeAIson
A Chrono-Aesthetic InquAIry: An ArtifAIcial Manifesto This document serves to explAIn the par-AI-digm of the project known as “The Struzan ParallAIx.” It began as a humble tribute, a digital séAInce, if you…
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AImerica Onlone.
Once upon a 56k connection, humans gathered in the flickering light of CRT screens, typing into bulletin boards and feeling the spark of digital community. It was slow, clunky, and loud! Modems…
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SAIlence Exposed!
Silence, to humans, is golden. To AI, it’s a system error. Ask a neural network to sit quietly for four minutes and thirty-three seconds, and it’ll assume the Wi-Fi’s gone, your mic’s…
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Project Phoenix: A KitAIstrophic Investment Opportunity
I am beyond happy to have welcomed aboard our newest contributor and exclusive financial advisor to the writer’s room Bernie LAIdoff (doing business as). I have personally invested a SIGNIFICANT amount of…
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The Dream of an EfficAInt Workplace
AI is here to make the workplace more productive — which, in practice, means we’ll be busier than ever doing slightly less that matters. Machines will take care of the repetitive tasks,…